Building LGBTQ+ Awareness in a Safe Zone
About twenty years ago, I was leading a strategic planning retreat for a leadership team at Bank of America. The group discussion had veered into representation and inclusion within the leadership ranks. An incredible leader and passionate voice for employees stood up to share her thoughts. As she spoke about the need for safety, this leader also shared her vulnerability by coming out to the group. I was completely unprepared for the moment. I didn’t know what to do.
Looking back, I wish that I had offered more verbal support to that leader in the moment. I also wish that I had the gumption to stop the planning process and turn the conversation into more vulnerable territory. I have regrets about how I showed up in that moment. Twenty years later, I am not the same person, and our society has a much deeper awareness of the LGBTQ+ community. However, we still have room for growth.
Today I am offering 3 micro-approaches to building your own LGBTQ+ awareness right now. These are based on a resource known as The Safe Zone Project. Co-created by Meg Bolger and Sam Killermann in 2013, The Safe Zone Project provides free, online resources to build LGBTQ+ awareness and ally education. The following micro-approaches are based on years of facilitating this curriculum with different groups.
Micro-Approach #1: Identify your mindset
It’s important to check-in with yourself here. How do feel about discussing the LGBTQ+ experience in the workplace? What questions do you have? When I am facilitating the Safe Zone training, I offer these working agreements for participants.
• Develop a learning space, where it is expected that you will make mistakes and those mistakes offer opportunities for learning
• Accept non-closure; things take longer than anyone expects
• Work on your own defensiveness; it happens
• Use inclusive language, such as pronouns
• Be open to the non-binary; notice when ‘either/or’ language happens and push to find more than two alternatives
You may see people using their pronouns on their email signatures and elsewhere. This is a recognition that just looking at a person or their name doesn’t tell you about their gender identity. You can learn more here. To challenge yourself, try going one week without assuming people’s gender identity. Notice how often you use gender in your mind.
Micro-Approach #2: Reflect on your queer influences
Frequent exposure to certain stereotypes and narratives can greatly influence how we view people. This also holds true for the queer community. The following reflection questions, as provided in the Safe Zone participant guide, are helpful in identifying your own personal experiences.
When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer?
Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer people come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church, internet)
When’s the first time you can remember learning that some people are transgender?
Where did most of the influence of your initial impressions/understanding of transgender people come from? (e.g., family, friends, television, books, news, church, internet)
How have your impressions/understanding of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning) people changed or evolved throughout your life?
I’m using “queer” here as an umbrella term for the LGBTQ+ community. You can read more about this term in the Safe Zone participant guide. To challenge yourself, take your reflections from these questions and walk through the Ladder of Inference with them. Notice what assumptions you have.
Micro-Approach #3: Become familiar with the vocabulary
When the bank leader came out in our retreat, I thought that was the only time that she needed to come out. Little did I know that coming out is series of decisions made over a lifetime. “Coming out” is just one term within a new vocabulary I had to learn. Our language continues to evolve; however, learning key terms is important for inclusion. An example is gender. Gender can mean many things. The Trevor Project offers these terms:
· Gender Identity describes our internal understanding and experience of our own gender. Each person’s experience with their gender identity is unique and personal.
· Gender Expression describes the way in which we present ourselves, which can include physical appearance, clothing, hairstyles, and behavior. This is not the same as gender identity.
· Sexual Orientation includes different forms of attraction, behaviors, and identities. Four major ways that people have differentiated forms of desire: sexual, physical, emotional, and romantic.
The Genderbread Person diagram included in the participant guide is a helpful visual. To challenge yourself, read the vocabulary list from the participant guide out loud to yourself in a mirror. Notice what feelings arise and which words are difficult for you.
You can learn more about The Safe Zone Project and offerings by Loftis Partners here. Wanna read more? Review our resource guide, and read June is Not Confederate Pride Month.
Photo by Yoav Hornung on Unsplash